Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Go Ahead and Hate

I don't mean to sound conceited, but I really love being this fabulous. You know there are some black women who have no damn class at all! These women are just tactless and tasteless. Yet they are the same ones who swear up and down they are so lady like! HA.

As I am on my lunch stroll around the neighborhood, I made an order with my favorite restaurant Chipotle to have my usual order made. It takes about fifteen minutes for them to complete your order. By the time I take the “long way” to Chipotle my food is usually ready. When you order your food online around the 12-2 lunch time frame, you don’t have to wait in the long line that usually flows out the doors onto the sidewalk. My mother taught me manners, so when passing through a group of people, I always say excuse me. So as usual I say excuse me one of the three sistas standing in line, since she is the one blocking my way. Now since I am a bit under the weather my voice is quite hoarse and a lot raspier than normal, so sexxi know. So I spoke up a little when I said “Excuse Me.” The woman, whom I will name NoTaste@ ALL looked at me up and down, rolled her eyes, and turned back to her friends to continue with her conversation. So I promptly said “Excuse me” again in which she ignored, and said to her friends, I don’t see the sun outside, do you?

Ok, Look chick. I was about to get real ignorant. I rock my sunglasses whenever the heck I feel like it. Inside. Outside. Sunny. Cloudy. Breezy. I don’t feel well and I want my food just like you. What I wanted to say was it looks like you have already had too many “two piece biscuits and fries” from Popeye’s so perhaps you need to be next door at the health food store… but I didn’t. I also wanted to say just cuz I am easy, breezy, beautiful, cover girl material and you are sloppy, unkempt, last fall’s season’s attire from NY and Co. two sizes too small please learn to shop for your size woman! But I didn’t. The Lord, blessed me with patience so I paused and took a deep breath. I taped her and said “can you get out of my way please” in most infamous Richmond accent (a lil hood and a lil southern). Finally she huffs and puffs at me and moves out of my way. I go downstairs to the pickup window, and wa-la! my food is ready. I pay for my meal and instead of walking out the side door, I make it a point to go back up and out through the front door again passing the woman who so vehemently detested the fact that I had passed her in line.

Do you know that heffa was staring me up and down! You know the “who does she think she is look” with her hands on her hips and her neck rolling to her friends talking about how ignorant it is to wear sunglasses when there is no sun. I almost laughed in her face. It’s hard to be in the presence of a real woman, I understand boo boo, but could you turn the hate up just a bit more cuz I haven’t received this much hateration in awhile. It feels good. Are you upset because you left your sunglasses at home today? Or did you just want your burrito before anyone else. Greedy Heffa! HA HA HA HAAAA! All I could do was chuckle with moms on the phone about what went down. She heard the whole ordeal from the phone. While she had just barely made it through the door I was well on my way out of the door, food in hand and ready to enjoy my meal.

*sings Jill Scott Hate on Me Haters*

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