Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Murder in the First Degree: The Truth about Cheating

What often may begin as innocent flirting or a simple act of affection can lead toward the act of infidelity or murder in the first degree, as cheating takes place in the mind long before it happens in the bedroom. There isn't too heavy a grey line here, but the decision to cheat is pre-meditated. To cheat is a choice. It is an action that roots its initial stages in your mind before you have carried out that choice. I am specifically referring to situational/ circumstantial cheating. That is cheating that's based on your current relationship status as “in a relationship” and in a cognizant state, you choose to step out of the bounds of your relationship into the awaiting arms of KARMA. But the consequences of your actions are purely your own, as I am not here to discuss the whys and the hows. There are a gazillion reasons as to why and how people cheat. But, I believe that people cheat simply because they CAN cheat.

Infidelity is a topic that doesn’t adhere to skin tones, age, sexuality or gender. People, all over the world cheat. However, infidelity is something the black community is no stranger towards, but yet has not made significant gains in combating the issue. We have witnessed recently, numerous celebs that have been ousted for cheating on their wives or girlfriends. Sure they have been chastised in the public eye and their private life put on public display, but who was really humiliated? Had that guy only decided NOT to cheat, would his private life still be intact. And, it’s not just a guy thing. A lot of people always lump men as the ones who cheat, but I have noticed a lot of men have been cheated on before by a girlfriend or wife. Yes, women cheat as well, it just so happens that women are a bit more careful at covering up their tracks. Other times, their actions are blatant disrespect towards their sig other.

There’s no cookie better than new cookies is a common saying among men. In other words men want variety. The opportunities for “cookies” is everywhere. We live in a “prostitution culture.” Just turn on the TV if you don't believe me. Sexual images are on display 24/7 and are not hardly censored. The man that says the above quote is loyal to the booty. He will never cheat on the booty. Booty is his best friend. Some men are at that level, and it's a Woman's choice to recognize that or to ignore it. Such Men are honest cheaters. Honest cheaters are loyal to the pursuit, not the person. Honest cheaters are devoted to the ritual of getting into relationships and not the relationships themselves. Those Men are committed the feminine body part that gives them the most pleasure.

As stated before, many women DO cheat on their sig others, and often more than once. The majority of women in relationships cheat emotionally. And that some of the main reasons most Women do not cheat sexually has to do with programming received from childhood, culture, religion, other Women- and even in most cases – shame of pregnancy, because usually the Woman is stuck with the baby. This idea is ingrained in most women even though we have contraceptives and birth control. Those things are not a natural part of our psyche, which explains why so many people still do not use them.

Sexual concurrency might be the acceded norm for many in the Black community but at what risk? Black males with numerous families can’t father them all effectively so the children are left without stable homes. Some black women who are cheated on not only become distrustful of black males but also angry and depressed. And in the end, although black males in their youth feel good about their number of conquests, detached and unmarried black men have the lowest life expectancy. Also the spread of sexual diseases amongst Black women, especially herpes and HIV, continues to be a large result in sexual concurrency and other promiscuous sexual behavior.

In the end no one wins.

Cheaters usually end up caught at some point, and often times it can be quite embarrassing (think Cheaters TV show). Every sex partner that a Man or Woman has ever had, has volunteered to help create them at a material and emotional level. Physical and mental sex are pathways to our self creation. I believe that because we are accustomed to having whatever it is we desire, when we desire it, including another person... the probability of cheating has increased. So what are your thoughts on cheating? Is cheating a deal breaker in a relationship? Is cheating worth the risk of being exposed/labeled?

Roxci Heart

(got this from a buncha articles, including my own brain)

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