Friday, August 12, 2011

An Open Letter To My Sisters

Hello Ladies-

I wanted to stay annomyous for the sake of embarassment, but allow me to be transparent in my testimony to you. No one was ever straight with me about how good it felt to be inside you, or the dangers of having sex too much. All I knew was that it was the best way to release all the anger and frustration going on in my life. But tonight, I want to make an open apology to the women that have shared my bed, their bed, the backseat of my '07 Altima, any random hotel bed/room/floor, my mom's couch, my boy's place, the girl i met in the club a few months earlier, to all of you ladies. I sincerely apologize. I know now that my actions have caused you great pains, and often times the source of your resentment towards men, and establishing a healthy relationship.

Most of you I can recall by face, but I'm so sorry I didn't even bother to remember your name. But most importantly I am sorry for what I caused to grow in you. I'm sorry for manipulating you and tricking you into falling in love with me. No one ever took the time to exaplain to me about the crazy attachments that come about as result of getting involved sexually. All I ever heard was don't do it, and just like a rebel that alone made me want to do it more... No one told me that marriage was sacred. Sex before marriage is a sin. I should have been honest with all of you up front, I wasn't ready for a commitment. But now I am a changed man. I didn't mean to hurt so many of you women and I hope you can find it in your hearts to forgive me for all the pain I have caused. And again, ladies I apologize.

"I APOLOGIZE" (adapted for this piece)

I apologize to you ladies for all the seen and unseen lies, For the heartache and pain that brought tears in your eyes.

I apologize to each of you for not being true from the start, for running away from you, leaving a hole in your heart.

For ignoring your feelings and pushing them aside, because I was too damn arrogant and pumped up with pride.

I apologize for making promises that I couldn't keep, for building a foundation based on treachery and deceit.

Being selfish and inconsiderate, I did what I wanted to do, making costly decisions without thinking of you.

I apologize for not holding you through restless nights and stormy days, for my immature thoughts and my foolish ways.

Instead of carrying your love with me, I just threw it on the shelf, after we made love I turned away, only thinking of myself.

You cried your heart for me, while I was out running wild and loose, I destroyed the essence of your love with physical, mental, and emotional abuse.

I gave you hell woman by giving up when times got rough, I didn't slap you, I pushed you, I neglected you - even that's bad enough!

Now I see why you build a wall around you, because it is me you despise, but that's the price that I have to pay for all the times I wore a disguise.

I pray to GOD that one day you will realize, That I LOVE YOU ALL LADIES, AND I APOLOGIZE.


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