Friday, November 13, 2009

New Growth

Call it growing up or whatever! In April of this year, I decided to start the transformation into womanhood. Maybe this process started automatically for me, or perhaps I just finally acknowledged it was happening. I’m not quite sure which came first, but it just kinda happened all of a sudden. One day I woke up and all the lights were off. So I cut them all on and saw myself in a new light, and I started with my hair. I didn’t just decide to no longer relax my hair… no, I decided at that point I needed to groom myself. So I cut about 6 inches off into a funky fresh cut. Now, I am transitioning into a natural hairstyle, the hard way. Along with allowing my true natural curly coif free, I decided to unleash my spiritual side as well. Together, with my bible and my comb I have maneuvered through six months of growing my relaxer out, and pruning myself spiritually. And it has been crazy fun ever since!

It’s like swimming upstream or against the current. You have to use a lot of muscle and strength to get upstream with a downward flowing current. Well I decided to take the challenge and plan on continuing it through! Six more months to go and I shall be relaxer free! At six months, I am in the pseudo stage. Half relaxed and half curly. Kinda like where I am in life, half relaxed, and half jumping with excitement at the new possibilities. Not only did I let go off my fears and frustrations with keeping up with the ladies in the Dark and Lovely commercials, but I welcomed new challenges and some tough terrain in both my hair care and in my life. I didn’t actually plan my life changes to coincide with my hair changes, perhaps it’s a default factor, but whatever the case I decided to start with the stuff on top of my head. But just like with my spiritual growth, I am willing to go through the rough days in order to see the end result, which I know will be positive!

Everything ain't for everybody. Going natural can be a rollercoaster of hair emotion, and it takes patience to teach yourself how to work with your hair texture. I'm not even gonna front like it's a piece of cake. I've had major moments of hair frustration, especially since I am in my early days of transitioning. Spiritually, it's been wonderful. Growing in the Spirit has allowed a breath of fresh air into my life where staleness and stagnation was all around me. But it too has come with challenges. Friendships have been lost, relationships cut off, I can't always go where I once went, or do the things I once used to do. But there is joy in sacrifice! For I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me! I actually never left God. I just told him I would brb.... I am no stranger to his wonderful works, but now I allow Him to order my steps.

It’s been six months since that wonderful day in April. April 9, 2009. But nothing is without sacrifice. If it is something you love you are willing to give it up for a better reward. Healthier hair and healthier mind, body and spirit are my goals. To get there I have given up a lot of extracurricular activities that I thought would distract me from my goals. Now I have clearer thinking and able to make better decisions because my distractions are limited. A new me has arisen. I have grown mentally, physically, spiritually, and emotionally. Very few see me now adays, a very few people get to know the woman I have become. Like the kinks in my hair I am have an unruly side of me that continues to strengthen and lengthen day by day.

UPDATE: so this weekend, Saturday October 31, 2009 I decided to do my version of the big chop. I cut off all the permed/relaxed ends of my hair and now I have all new growth. My hair is soft and very curly. It's afro curly and I absolutely love it. Thanks to all the ladies and gents who supported me through this transition period. I truly feel liberated and free :) So anyone with tips, styles, or ideas feel free to hit me up!

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